Simon Willison’s Weblog

68 items tagged “funny”

When all of human endeavor falls under the rubric of the “hack” the word ceases to mean anything. Hack your commute, take public transit! Hack your next dinner party with parlour games. Delightfully clever key hack keeps all your keys on the same ring. Hack Mexican food with a “burrito” sized tortilla! Hack your brain with REM sleep. Hack the sun with a straw hat. Hack hygiene with silver oxide “deodorant”. Hack girls with compliments. Hack your windowsill with a pot of wheatgrass, and hack the sky with the goddamn moon.

qwzybug on Hacker News # 10th August 2010, 11:54 am

Great Literature Retitled To Boost Website Traffic (via) “7 Awesome Ways Barnyard Animals Are Like Communism”. # 17th June 2010, 10:32 am

The answers to your Security Questions are case sensitive and cannot contain special characters like an apostrophe, or the words “insert,” “delete,” “drop,” “update,” “null,” or “select.”

Sacramento Credit Union # 14th May 2010, 12:40 am

Why I Believe Printers Were Sent From Hell To Make Us Miserable (via) I just don’t get it. How has no one managed to produce a printer that doesn’t suck yet? # 28th January 2010, 6:56 pm

Self-Proclaimed Social Media Gurus on Twitter Multiplying Like Rabbits (via) 15,740 of them, including 2,091 social media consultants, 807 social media experts, 445 social media gurus and 68 social media stars. # 4th January 2010, 1:49 am

Another leak, the worst so far (via) “Arweena, a spokes-elf for Santa Claus, admitted a few hours ago that the database posted at WikiLeaks yesterday is indeed the comprehensive 2009 list of which kids have been naughty, and which were nice.” The first comment is great too. # 22nd December 2009, 10:42 am

Some Darwinists might say your optimal strategy would be to pair-bond with the older male but surreptitiously allow the younger, sexy male to fertilise you. But be careful, most men consider being cuckolded the greatest of betrayals.

The Guardian's Evolutionary Agony Aunt # 16th December 2009, 3:20 pm

Mobius Sliced Linked Bagel. “It is much more fun to put cream cheese on these bagels than on an ordinary bagel. In additional to the intellectual stimulation, you get more cream cheese, because there is slightly more surface area.” # 9th December 2009, 8:03 am

Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide.

Andrew Clover # 16th November 2009, 10:32 am

How fast do they go? Like everything else, camels aren’t what they were. Do not be encouraged by the accounts of the great desert travellers. They were better men than us, and were probably lying anyway, and they were riding camels which were used to going for many days at full pelt over the most hellish land and then charging into artillery fire at the end. The wrecks you get in the modern camel markets of Omdurman and Cairo are degenerate great-great-great-great-grandchildren of them and their forebears would be desperately ashamed of them.

Travelling with Camels, by Charles Foster # 14th November 2009, 10:51 pm

Awkward Suggestions (via) The Google search box “suggest” feature returns very different results depending on the quality of your grammar—“how 2” v.s. “how might one” is particularly illuminating. # 12th November 2009, 10:31 am

We completely understand the public’s concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission.

Harry Schoell, CEO of Cyclone # 23rd August 2009, 10:51 am

Exclusive: The Future of Facebook Usernames. I have to admit I was planning to just let Facebook get on with it, assuming that the OpenID provider part would show up of its own accord—but maybe I should write a thoughtful and persuasive essay about it after all. # 11th June 2009, 9:46 am

Lovecraftian School Board Member Wants Madness Added To Curriculum. “West says the school inadequately prepares students for the black seas of infinity.” # 7th March 2009, 11:11 am

Some people, when confronted with a problem, think “I know, I’ll quote Jamie Zawinski.” Now they have two problems.

Mark Pilgrim # 25th February 2009, 10:06 pm

DRGBLZ. lolzeppelins? # 11th November 2008, 3:13 pm

The Flickr Panda. Reminds me of the prime number shitting bear. # 4th October 2008, 9:42 am

Goon City. Every internet meme ever, rendered in pixel art. See if you can find the Zeppelin. # 14th September 2008, 11:09 pm

Socks away! Roald Dahl’s wartime sex raids. That explains “My Uncle Oswald”. # 1st September 2008, 1:43 pm

As duplicitous and sad as “fake following” sounds—and let’s be honest: the whole idea’s pathetic on a number of levels—for a certain kind of user, I can see why there’s a desire for this functionality. Especially on a site like FriendFeed, which has quickly become the platform of choice for the web’s least interesting narcissists—and the slow-witted woodland creatures who enjoy grooming their fur—this is a major breakthrough in the makebelieve friendship space. Yes, primate culture may be primitive, but it is not without its evolving needs.

Merlin Mann # 26th August 2008, 10:28 pm

Package Management Sudoku. “A package management system that can solve Sudoku based on package dependency rules is not something that I think would be useful or worth having”—like a red flag to a bull. # 21st August 2008, 7:09 pm

YouTube: Large Hadron Rap. The first time I saw this I thought it was incredibly dorky. By the third watch I realised I was actually learning things. # 2nd August 2008, 11:58 pm

Microformats and accessibility: the soap opera that never ends. “Be sure to tune in next week, when we’ll drown a leading accessibility expert to see if she’s a witch.” # 29th June 2008, 8:44 am

Comic Sans, the Film. “A documentary film coming soon” # 21st June 2008, 12:27 am

Using the patent application as a guide, Apple appears to be making room on the iPhone for flash memory, which means an end to Apple’s standoff with Adobe (ADBE) that’s kept iPhones from easily viewing a plethora of Internet videos.

Ben Charny # 6th June 2008, 9:08 pm

Classy Query. Beautifully implemented parody of class-based JavaScript and verbose namespacing as a jQuery extension, from John Resig. The source code has some neat tricks in it, in particular the buildClass() function. # 1st April 2008, 9:48 am

Idea: A new typography term (via) keming. noun. The result of improper kerning. # 22nd March 2008, 1:41 pm

Amazon.com: amazon oddities. Warning: reading the user reviews on these items has the potential to soak up hours. # 21st March 2008, 2:54 am