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Time traveller busted for insider trading

“Time-Traveller” Busted for Insider Trading (via Tony Bowden). This just has to be some kind of early April fools.

“We don’t believe this guy’s story -- he’s either a lunatic or a pathological liar,” says an SEC insider.

"But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks’ time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can’t be pure luck.

Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200 years in the future, when it is common knowledge that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone armed with knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could make a fortune.

“It was just too tempting to resist,” Carlssin allegedly said in his videotaped confession. “I had planned to make it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there so it doesn’t look too perfect. But I just got caught in the moment.”

In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge “historical facts” such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.

Officials are quite confident the “time-traveler’s” claims are bogus. Yet the SEC source admits, “No one can find any record of any Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002.”

Posted 29th March 2003 at 10:41 am

This is Time traveller busted for insider trading by Simon Willison, posted on 29th March 2003.

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4 comments

  1. So I take it you're subscribed to NTK too?

    Jan! - 29th March 2003 12:48 - #

  2. One of the things I decided a long time ago was that, should I ever hear a story like this, I wouldn't discount it right away. If time travel *ever* gets invented, it has *already* been invented. Know what I mean? I was actually going to blog this last night, but decided against it. One of the things that made me doubt the article was the refence to Riker's Island. I also question how an *individual* would come back and mess with the stock market, but I guess that's possible. The reason I doubt time travel the most is because I don't believe God would have allowed it to be possible when he made the universe :)

    Keith - 29th March 2003 14:46 - #

  3. "Such is the story, apparently culled from a number of news websites, doing the rounds of the City. Alas, it is merely one of the better internet myths. The SEC has never heard of Carlssin, and several "facts" are plainly untrue." http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,630-627115 ,00.html

    Someone - 29th March 2003 16:39 - #

  4. Carlssin isn't a real name Carlsson is. meaning Son of Carl on the keyboard you will find [i][o] next to each other..

    bofn - 2nd April 2003 11:53 - #

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